In it's simplest form,
Raw and gnawing
On my heart,
As eyes disect
Each scene you're in,
With other girls.
Messing with my brain,
As you walk away
To someone else,
That will win
Like I once did.
Beautiful DisguiseHer eyes are dark and clouded,
Swallowed by thoughts you'll never know,
Her perfect smile is shrouded,
By the whisper of pain below.
Her hair depicts a vibrancy,
The she wishes to someday feel,
But the colours - like her emotions,
Are far from being real.
Her mind is taunted and torn,
By agonizing voices and angry lies,
Still every day she finds the strength,
To put on a beautiful disguise.
Though her fašade has its holes,
Her personality always charms,
And on those days the darkness reigns,
I'll hold her tightly in my arms.
I Am A RobotI am a body with no mind,
My thoughts and soul were left behind,
Stolen by words wrapped in hate,
Ripped apart by a cruel fate,
This girl you see with hazel eyes,
Is just their robot in disguise.
I am a mouth with no voice,
My words fell silent without a choice,
Muted by the lack of care,
My screams weren't heard anywhere,
This girl you see with a broken smile,
Has been their puppet for awhile.
I am a glance that never sees,
My eyes are blinded to beauty,
Covered by years of endless pain,
I no longer notice things I can gain,
I am a mask,
An empty box,
It's safe to say Alycia is lost.
sweet simplicitiessweet simplicities, how i miss your sound,
the silence of mind when no one's around,
now i'm older and struggling to keep my feet on the ground.
sweet simplicities, how i miss your face,
no worries of how to win life's race,
now i'm older and struggling to find my place.
sweet simplicities, how i miss your touch,
the carefree thoughts that meant so much,
now i'm older and struggling to keep happiness clutched.
sweet simplicities, how i miss your taste,
no words on my tongue - no speaking in haste,
now i'm older and struggling to get my words straight.
sweet simplicities, why did age steal you away..?
love is evollove is evil in disguise,
but we all still crave love's lies,
that feeling of being the only one,
yet we get replaced once things come undone.
we're told it's patient and forever kind,
if that's true, true love is hard to find,
i'll admit sometimes it lasts for years,
but more often than not it's replaced by tears.
broken hearts caused by untrue words,
at the end of the day the concept's absurd,
like a china cup clasped in a child's hand,
there's a very slim chance love with withstand.
after hurtful words, and tears, and pain,
is there really anything that we can gain?
i'm not sure what true love's about,
but when it comes to "evol", count me out.
In My Hearti can't explain it in words 'cause they're much too weak,
and i'm finding you've robbed me of the need to speak,
i don't know what it is or where exactly we went right,
but now you're on my mind when i fall asleep at night.
your arms once forbidden are now surprisingly secure,
your lips once spitting fire now offer a sweet allure,
nobody ever expected things would end up this way,
and i still have trouble grasping it at the end of the day.
conversations are endless and i couldn't complain,
i'm finding these thoughts harder and harder to contain,
you light up my world and leave me begging for more,
and the comfort of your touch is one i much adore.
you may not be mine and i don't mind if you're not,
as long as you know in my heart your name holds a spot.
Once Upon A Timeyou could have had true love forever, but you didn't have the time,
instead you made it feel like loving you was nothing more than a crime,
you could have had perfection if you spared a few minutes to speak,
instead you decided to throw it away when you know we were unique.
every second we wasted fighting was recovered through hours of pleasure,
and the love we shared through everything was one no one could measure,
we could have made it through but you turned a cold shoulder to it all,
forget about the memories - i thought you said you'd never let me fall.
we could have kissed and made up like we have every time before,
but for some reason you decided that talking it out was a chore,
i know i've said some things i shouldn't - i know i've done much worse,
and there's so many mistakes that i wish i had the power to reverse.
once upon a time your eyes were open to the bigger picture at hand,
but you've closed your eyes to the truth and refuse understand,
love doesn't just happen - it tak
You've Gone Far EnoughHow many times have you tried, just to put me down,
The last time I remember, I was underground.
And even then I rose up, just to challenge the greats.
You might be thinking that your wins are all a part of your fate;
But it's not!
You're a little puppet in the game,
And when you try to take me out, you'll be feeling the strain!
I will be breathing down your neck and it's offense;
No nonsense. I am the Word of Chen, execution commence!
And now you're feeling the pressure, I'll make you suffer;
Your words try to cut me, but you're bleeding your brother!
You don't recognize that I'm the one who paved your way;
And now you're crying, sweating bullets, while you kneel and pray-
I don't find you. You're scared! Your soul is bared,
The only thing that makes us different is the fact that I cared!
But it don't matter now boy! You can laugh and smile,
Because the only thing left is to burn you in a Word of Chen style.
- Chennie, 21st October 2014
I Used To Have A ReasonI used to have a reason to do what I do,
Now it is just a habit I am trying to get through,
Meaningless motions, without emotions,
Trying to keep a clean conscience.
Embracing the darkness in the dim light,
I do not think I will sleep another night,
It is 4 AM, and there is no meaning,
To feel what I used to be feeling.
The pen slides through snow white paper,
It cuts it in two like a sharp saber,
But what is the point of doing this all
If It feels empty just like this Fall?
To fill the void I leave to fate,
There is no love, there is no hate
For times have changed.
Kimi ni todokeAs I was talking to the clouds I realized
We're under the same sky, but even so
It doesn't feel right yet to call this "closeness"
Within the vast feebleness of the horizon
Between my endless inquiring projections
Raises the moon, as ever tireless, silver goddess
Since you and I both are looking into
The same lucent iris, I leave it to her hands
To deliver this, my nocturnal message
My quill screeches in tune with my breathing
Transforming my thoughts into inked consequences
With informal beginning and clumsy first paragraph
But with dictionaries and poetry nearby
I still can't find the words to properly say "hi"
So between the H and the I the moon somewhen went away
Leaving room for the sun to shine unhindered
And probe over my shoulder, only to retreat scared
Of the frowning purple from under my eyes
Just a DreamA week after he turn twenty three
My fairy tale story had ended
The temporarily fantasy was over
He was perfect
Loved ones approved of him
I thought he was it
I never doubted him
No more tears
No more hiding
No more lies
But all was suddenly taken away from me
He stopped being there
No given reason
I shrugged it off easy
My mind said let it go
But my heart says suspicious
He then didn't come
How could this happened?
What did I do?
I said too much?
Did he not believe in us anymore?
He's not coming home
This can't be happening to me
For this is just a dream
how do they even dareI can’t see
Why they say
They are so goddamn scarred.
“I look like a model.
But nobody sees the duct tape heart behind my beauty”
What does your otherness have to do
With your defaults.
Oh, so you are slaves to your appearance?
Tell that someone who is too tall.
Too heavy. Too. Fucking. Small.
Or just born as plain and ugly.
Tell that someone who wasn’t accepted by
Our oh-so-social society because of his looks.
And then explain to me
That you didn’t feel stupid.
You’re not pretty.
You’re just ignorant.
I moved.I remember the day he died so clearly in my head.
I was on the phone to my friend and i could hear my mother shouting,
"This isn't right."
"This can't be right."
"Tell me it's not true."
Then the screaming came,
and i felt my stomach drop, something was wrong.
But when i stepped outside,
Everything was fine.
The sun was still shining,
wind still blowing.
Then those words,
Thats all i heard over the screaming and the crying and suddenly it wasn't so perfect,
I couldn't hear,
I couldn't breathe,
i could barely see.
Yet i moved.
I moved to comfort my mother whose screams i could no longer hear,
because she didn't need me.
She needed him.
We all did.
We all do.
And although my legs still shake and my eyes are stained with black rings.
I still move,
And i still see.
Ever since that day,
despite what they said and what they told me,
I never stopped moving
My HomeYou walk in the front door, and the first thing you notice is that my home is a mess. Stuff is strewn about everywhere, nothing is put away. But this isn’t just the mess of carelessness, no, there’s a reason it looks ransacked. Looking around, you see that reason.
There are no closets in my home.
The front door had “shy,” “awkward” and “introvert” written all over it, but the doorbell proudly announced “nice guy” with a footnote specifying “not that kind of nice guy.”
In the main room you see “childlike,” “daydreamer,” and “gamer” scattered all over the floor, shelves stuffed full of “bookworm.” A huge box overflows with “collector” and the occasional “hoarder.”
The kitchen has “wants to cook” shelved right next to “can’t cook.” The “out-of-shape” in the fridge has gone bad but I haven’t th
Who am I?Me?
I am a nobody.
Just another voice in the distance,
A figure in the shadowy corner that is my life.
I am a time bomb,
On which my timer resets at random.
Never quite on track with the rest of the world always three steps behind,
I can't take it!
This is not worth my effort,
My writing, my singing, composing, what have you,
Its all pointless.
No one will ever see or know the inner workings of my mind.
The cogs that turn and create the genius that I like to think of myself,
Knowing I'm only average at most,
Barely worth the air that I breathe.
I'm so lost.
I just don't know how or why or what to do
I can't even begin to fathom the complexities that make up the human psyche
Forcing these words from my mouth and these emotions,
These emotions that ignite a flame within me that is burning my lungs and esophagus like poison!
Poison, of my own creation.
That I chose to drink.
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I just escape from it all?
Let the past die?
I'm not even good for my
PresentOut of all that I write
I can only make sad songs
that's my hubris, I'ma lose it
late nights still stuck on the past
can't wait for a Christmas present
man, right now that would be Heaven
but it's too far in the future
guess I'm ahead of my time
maybe that's why I can't rhyme
and when I rap the sad songs
all I can do is whine
I guess I'm all shook up
like a coconut with lime